Need
by Ally P
Summary: Rogue needs Logan.
1. Part One

Title: Need  
  
Author: Ally Palonatio  
  
Email: ally@antlercreeklodge.com  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not mine, although the story idea is. (  
  
Archive Rights: DDFH, Agony and Ecstasy, and FanFiction.net  
  
Rating: R - deals with Suicide  
  
Series: Need Part One of Two  
  
Summary: Rogue needs Logan.  
  
Feedback: Please (  
  
Pairings: L/R  
  
Warnings: Deals with Suicide  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, so this isn't exactly what Kristine wanted but this is what came out when I sat down to write lol. Okay, now onto the fic so I can go catch up on my fic reading and reviewing.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Logan,  
  
Sometimes I just like to leave for a while. I don't know if it's just the you in me, or if it's a part of me. I like think it's more of a combination of both, because I used to in Mississippi and I never felt the urge to run stronger then when I got you in my head. When it got there I'd run on my rollerblades for a few hours. Just skating up and down the streets of my hometown until I felt a little bit better. And when I got home they'd still be screaming. It never ended. So I started to escape to friends' houses on the weekends. My parents never really cared. I think I could have left for a week and they wouldn't notice that I had been gone until I got back.  
  
But here at the mansion it's different. I have roommates who always want to know where I'm going and where I've been. The first time I thought I couldn't handle things at the Mansion was right after you left. I was so confused about my feelings for you, my feelings about the situation in general, and just confusion with all of the people in my head which I hadn't quite gotten used to yet. I ran then, rollerblading to Salem Center Mall and back. It took me about three hours going at a decent pace. When I got back it wasn't better like it had once been. It was worse. I felt trapped. Like the Mansion was my prison not my home. I figured that if I went after you and found you I might not feel so trapped. So one night I packed my bag and left on my blades. I didn't even get out the gate. I heard the professor in my head asking me what I was doing. I explained it to him even though he already new why. He offered to contact you and ask you to call here so I could here his voice. I wasn't sure if it would help or not so I said fine.  
  
The next morning the Professor contacted you and we spoke. It was great; we talked about all sorts of things. From what you were doing to where you were headed and where you had already gone by. We talked until your phone almost ran out of minutes. When we got off I felt homesick. Like you were my home and I just wanted you back so bad that I felt like I was turning inside out with repressed tears. Then you started to call on and off for about four months. After every single call it got worse. I almost asked you not to call anymore. But I needed it as much as I hated it. I needed to hear your voice. But I hated how I felt afterwards.  
  
That was when I felt I couldn't handle it anymore. I was at the end of my rope. You told me that you couldn't call for a while because you wouldn't be in a zone where your phone didn't have service. I said okay and told you to call as soon as you could. But I couldn't wait that long. You haven't called for about two months. And I couldn't stand not hearing your voice anymore. I needed it like you need to find your past. It was a higher priority then air, food, and water. I lived for those times when we had talked. Even when you'd accidentally call in the middle of the night and start apologizing as soon as you heard my sleep filled voice.  
  
After the first month I started cutting myself. The pain was addicting. It was soothing it helped me forget. Soon it wasn't just simple scratches with my razor. Soon it was vertical deep cuts down my arm. One day I just felt like there was rock bottom, twenty miles of crap, and then me. So, I figured I'd end it. And that's where we are today. I didn't write this to make you feel bad, or as a way to get revenge. You had no idea what it was doing to me. I just wanted you to know. I figured I owed you an explanation. I'm sorry for not being strong enough for you sugar. Oh, and the you in my head wants you to know that it doesn't hurt to die. He said that you always wondered.  
  
And Since I won't be able to ever tell you in person: I love you, Logan.  
  
Only you.  
  
Marie 


	2. Part Two

Title: Need Part Two  
  
Author: Ally Palonatio  
  
Email: ally@antlercreeklodge.com  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not mine, although the story idea is.  
  
Archive Rights: DDFH, Agony and Ecstasy, and FanFiction.net  
  
Rating: R - deals with Suicide  
  
Series: Need Part Two of Two  
  
Summary: Rogue needs Logan.  
  
Feedback: Please  
  
Pairings: L/R  
  
Warnings: Deals with Suicide  
  
Author's Notes: Buahahaha! Part two! Look I actually finished something!! Teehee.  
  
  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
He had never known. When the Professor called him through Cerebro to tell him that Scott and Ororo were flying out to get him and to be ready he had complained, and had screamed at them. But as soon as he had stepped into the blackbird he knew something was wrong. They wouldn't have gotten him if it weren't. No one would tell him anything except that it was very important that he come back right away. He nearly tore the place apart but knew it wouldn't help. They sat in silence for the half an hour trip back.  
  
When they arrived he was rushed to the med-lab where through the windows he saw Marie, his Marie lying on her back unconscious with her left hand and wrist bandaged. He nearly went berserk with rage. He had stormed in there completely ignoring everything and everyone. With no hesitation he touched her giving his all. Marie awoke instantly and shoved him off of her. His last thought as he drifted into the now familiar black abyss was that he hoped she had gotten enough to heal what had happened.  
  
When he awoke the first thing that occurred to him was that Marie was still unconscious. He almost touched her again until Jean held him in place. His hand mere millimeters away from Marie's face. She floated him a few feet away and let lose everything except his legs so he couldn't get to her again. She handed Logan the letter and told him to read it before he did anything else. Grudgingly he opened the envelope labeled only with his name in Marie's writing.  
  
He looked to Jean when he was finished. She released his legs and he nearly collapsed to the floor next to Marie's hospital bed. He started to say something but was cut off.  
  
"We know Logan. It's not your fault. Don't worry. She doesn't blame you. And you'll both be okay. I took the wrapping off of her wrist and it was healed completely. She's no longer physically hurt."  
  
"How is she, ya know, mentally?"  
  
"Unpredictable at best. When she awoke after your touch she had to be sedated because she was. well she was not herself." Logan looked down.  
  
"If I had only known." he mumbled, not quite loud enough for Jean to hear. He stood looking down at Marie. She looked so peaceful in her unconscious state. "When will she wake up?"  
  
"I'm not sure. An hour give or take."  
  
"Okay. Gimme a chair Jeanie." Jean nodded and dragged one over for him. He sat down relieved.  
  
Jean studied him for a moment. 'God, I've never seen him like this. It's like all of the life in him just left.' Jean decided that she could just as well monitor Rogue from a different part of the lab as she could here. She felt like she owed them some privacy.  
  
A half an hour later Logan slumped in his chair and laid his head over Marie's heart. He soon fell asleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"Logan? Logan is it really you?" Logan quickly awoke and looked to her. She seemed okay. A tab bit groggy but okay.  
  
"Yeah darlin'. It's me. How're ya?"  
  
"A lot better. But why are you here? Why am I here?"  
  
"You don't remember?"  
  
"Nope. The last thing I remember was that you had called to tell me that you wouldn't be able to call me for a while."  
  
"Wow. Darlin' that was two months ago." Marie's eyes widened. She sat in shock for a few moments. Contemplating what could have happened to land her in the med-lab with Logan who had recently come back.  
  
"Logan, what happened to me?" Worry filled her voice.  
  
"Do you want the truth?"  
  
"Yes." Logan wordlessly handed over the letter she had written him in what she thought would be her last moments.  
  
"I really wrote that?" Logan nodded. Marie began to cry. Logan just held her and let her cry it out.  
  
"I do Logan I do."  
  
"You do what?"  
  
"I do love you Logan." For the first time that day he smiled, relieved.  
  
"I love you to Marie. Forever and always."  
  
  
  
(Author's lil endnote: I know. I am the biggest sap. I just couldn't let this have a sad ending. I was in too good of a mood. :D ) 


End file.
